While this may seem like the safest bet, rest assured, this choice is BORING! Our box office personnel will have no choice but to shame you publicly by yelling "BORING!" in your face.
This is the BEST CHOICE! No need to show up early! No lines! Premium Seating! Just choose a show date, and click the "Buy Now" button. HOWEVER, it's the most expensive choice too! You're an elitist who thinks you're too good to wait in line? Then you pay extra because you're paying for the privilege of walking proudly past all the poor common people who are waiting to get regular dollar tickets. It's okay to laugh at them.
Alright, so they're not world famous. When you're at the ticket booth, pick up our 12-sided die and either:
It ain't rocket science, whatever number you roll, that's what you pay, from $12 to FREE!
You lay it all on the line and challenge our box office maven to a roll-off. If you roll a higher number, you get in for FREE! If you roll a lower number, you pay $12. It sounds like gambling, but there's no possibility of you making any money, so cool your boots, Eliot Ness.
